Black Friday

I love Black Friday shopping.

There. I said it.

Judge me if you like. Odds are if you're judging me over that, you're judging me about all manner of other things anyways. You're welcome for giving you one more.

Even though I'm at the store every other day (for food, milk, diapers), I don't do a whole lot of pleasure shopping throughout the year. Birthday gifts, clothes for the kids, occasionally something for me. That's pretty much it.

Black Friday gives me the ability to go out and get all the little things for myself, for my loved ones, for my pets, that I've wanted to get all year. And, it gives me time to do this all without children. Anyone who has gone to Target with a toddler and a 5 yr old should understand that pleasure.

I don't go nuts. I don't camp out overnight, I don't knock people down or shove people out of my way. You won't see me running or cutting in line. I don't go to Walmart, or Kmart, or any store that I'm against morally.

Will I be out at 8pm Thanksgiving night? Probably. Would those workers rather be anywhere but there? I'd guess so. But that could also be said for any other working day for them and everyone else.

We've made such a big deal about retail stores opening on Thanksgiving night. As though this is a new thing. Gas stations have employees round the clock, most grocery stores are open for at least a little while. Restaurants are open for those people who don't have family, don't feel like cooking, and wish to go out. Movie theaters have always been open on Thanksgiving. In fact, it's become a family tradition for us to go out and see a movie every year. Hell, even a lot of Starbucks are open. Zookeepers and animal caregivers still go to work - the animals don't care what day it is.

So what about those people? All those people and hundreds more, have and always will be working on Thanksgiving. And not just at night - when most families are finished with their meals and are lying around in tryptophan comas. All day. Every year. Even on Christmas and Fourth of July and all the other holidays we all love celebrating with family and friends (and alcohol).

I've actually talked to several retail employees that have told me they don't really care that they have to go to work at 7pm on Thanksgiving night. They're happy to have jobs. They're happy to be making money. It seems the most outraged people are those that don't have to and never have had to actually work on Thanksgiving. Why are we all suddenly becoming champions for people who have to work on Thanksgiving, when people have been doing it... always?

So I won't feel guilty tonight as I head inside Ulta, and Kohls, and the mall. When I'm checking out at Target, I'll be sure to give the employee a bright smile and tell them to have a wonderful day. Just because I love shopping on Black Friday doesn't mean I'm a horrible person. I'm not rude. I'm not greedy.

99% of the things I buy are for others. I even pick up my Toys for Tots gift for my kids to donate to the charity. And I'll also be gathering stuff for a stocking stuffer exchange at the YMCA. Just because I paid less for those things doesn't make them any less appreciated. And, this way, I am actually enjoying the experience.

Go ahead and judge me and all the other dedicated Black Friday shoppers. We'll be at the store.

Thankful for the Pain

 

Thanksgiving is next week, and while everyone else on facebook is listing their "30 days of thanks," my posts have remained strictly status quot (see what I did there?) It isn't that I'm not thankful for my keurig, or my husband, or my girls. I so, so am. But more than that, I'm thankful for the pain.
    2013 hasn't been the greatest year for me. After the loss of a close friendship I never saw coming, fate still had more blows coming for me. Some of them, you know about. Some of them, you never will. Internal and external struggles with anxiety and the reemergence of an insecurity that I'd thought long gone.
     One after another, it seemed like my world was crumbling. And then, just when I thought I was in the clear, another unexpected and still pretty unexplained loss of a friendship. Will it end with that? I really hope so.
     It has been crippling, view-altering. Despite the support of my husband, and my friends (or what's left of them) and family, I've felt alone and scared, angry and vengeful. After each trauma, I've thought, "I can't take anymore. I can't, or I'll break."
     And yet, I'm still here. Bruised, surely bloody, but not broken. Not dead and not, somehow, jaded. I still yearn to trust and to confide. I want to make new friends and reconnect with old ones - yes, even the assholes. The year hasn't crushed me. I'm still standing. I'm still here.
     How dare I complain about the past year? How dare I feel anything but thankful? After all, I have two healthy, happy girls, a spouse who loves me, family and a few friends who'd do just about anything for me. I have a home and a car and food. I live in a place where I feel safe and protected. I know all of this and I am thankful for these things. But that doesn't make the shitty things any less shitty.
    I'm not perfect, nor have I handled everything with grace and composure, but I'm dealing with things I never thought I could. I'm coping better than I ever hoped I would. And I've grown a new respect for me. I'm proud. I'm stronger than I ever knew I was.
    Instead of looking at the past year as horrible, I will remember 2013 as the year I survived. The year I grew because of, the year I learned from.