Taking the hard way...

     Today, I took the girls to meet with a friend at the mall. Things were going well, the girls were (for the most part) behaving. When it was time to leave, I told A she could pick out a book at the book store. She selected a Sophia the First book, which is one of the few princesses I don't entirely mind.
     Waiting in line to buy the book, A got out of our sit n stand stroller because she wanted to put the book on the counter. E started getting angry that A was allowed to walk around and yet she was stuck in the stroller like some kind of chump. Because of this, I asked A to get in the stroller and she could put the book on the counter from there. This is, apparently, where I went wrong. By avoiding a mini-tantrum from the 1 yr old, I inadvertently set into motion the beginning of a great, gigantic tantrum from the 5 yr old.
     After arguing with me (apparently she thought I thought she couldn't reach the counter without being in the stroller - and that was a direct threat to her ability to be a "big girl") we walk up to the counter and A chucks the goddamn book on the counter. Now, seeing as she is usually my good one (E throws things regularly), I was momentarily taken aback and thought it was an accident. But one look at her stubborn-set chin and fierce blue eyes told me that she'd done this deliberately. She was testing me.
     Game on.
     I pick the book off the counter and say, "If you don't apologize to the cashier, you will not be getting this book."
The waterworks started immediately. She grabs the book from my hand and tosses it on the counter again, while telling me that she won't apologize.
     At that moment, I had a decision to make. The tears were already here, the screams were likely on their way. I had a split-second to decide how I would handle this: Give in and buy the little brat her the book, or haul a very pissed off, very loud 5 yr old out to the car. Just glancing at the daring, almost menacing glare she shot me, gave me my answer.
     I calmly handed the book to the cashier, apologized and told him we wouldn't be buying the book. I'm not sure if he ever said anything. The screams had begun, and with them, came stomps on the stroller, mad words, and screeching pleas to let her say sorry so we could buy the book. As best I could, I ignored the disapproving looks from strangers as I pushed my stroller - complete with raging five year old.
     We got to the car, and A was still pissed at me. She got into the car and did the thing where the door didn't slam loud enough the first time so she kept opening it and slamming it shut again. After the third time, I put an end to that, too. We talked on the way home - after she'd calmed down - about her feelings at  the time of the incident, and how she felt afterwards.
     Now we're home, and I made she sure understood why she wasn't going to get the book. Not today. Not tomorrow. Perhaps not anytime in the near future. And as I recounted the story in my mind, I remembered the disapproving strangers and I questioned myself. Had I dealt with that scenario the "right" way? In the second I had to react and make a choice on how to deal with A and her 'tude, my first instinct had been to give in. Is that what I should've done? After all, it's only a book.
     But giving in would've been the easy thing to do. By giving into your child's tantrums, you're not only potentially creating a bigger problem for yourself, you're letting your kid down. Your job is to teach them how to function properly in society. To be considerate of others. To continue on and control your temper even if something doesn't go your way.
    So despite the judgmental glares and tsks of people I don't know, I stand by my choice. For my child's sake, I refrained from taking the easy way out. And I can only hope that, at the very least, she grew a little because of it. I know I have.